taking a break...

be back soon.

one day down

Today was sweet Eva-bear's first day of school. She was pretty sad when it was time for Sean, Oliver & I to say good-bye. She was mostly just deeply offended that she had been seated between two boys. Come pick-up time she was smiling and laughing. All in all, she took it like a champ. I, on the other hand, did not. My heart feels smooshed and crushed and bashed and bruised and pummeled and purpled and utterly ruined. I understand at a cognitive level that parenting is all about letting go, from the moment they leave the womb, we begin that forever journey of letting go. And yet, in just one day in the midst of a million days of letting go, this day feels particularly harsh.

Can you tell that she's my oldest?

O-wimp-picks!

I'm not sure what you all have been up to but we have been pretty excited about the Olympics over in our household. Even our 2 and 3 years old keep insisting each evening that they get to watch a little off the "0-wimp-picks" before bedtime. I haven't seen many Thai athletes competing and wondered who I may have missed. This morning when I scanned the medal earners I came across Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon of Thailand. She has one the sole gold medal for Thailand at The Beijing games. Prapawadee won the weightlifting gold medal in the women's 53 kilogram category, setting an Olympic record.

Jaroenrattanatarakoon lifted a total of 221 kilograms in Sunday's competition. She pulled off 95 kgs in the snatch and an Olympic high score of 126 kgs in the clean and jerk.

Her total was 8 kgs better than Yoon and Novikava who won the silver & bronze.

An interesting side note: She changed her name in 2007 on the advice of a fortune teller who said it would improve her chances of winning the Olympics.

Thai fact

"In order to maintain some semblance of social cohesion the Thais try to keep their cool and avoid arguments. One should endeavor to live harmoniously with one's neighbors and follow the Buddhist middle path that urges followers to avoid extremes. Getting angry or telling people off is unlikely to solve anything - in Thailand anyway. Anger is disruptive and they regard people who go around making a fuss and picking quarrels as hotheaded - or, to translate literally from Thai, "hothearted" (jai ron). The best advice is "keep your cool" and smile benignly, however frustrated or annoyed you feel."

as good as it gets

Wow- we had a really fantastic weekend.
Thirty-one isn't so bad after all.

gettin' out of Dodge

My Love and I are heading out of town to celebrate my 31 years of life and our six years of marriage. We are super excited for our long-overdue-kid-less-weekend-away! Hope your weekend is filled with lots of hugs & kisses.

Thai fact

"Thais like to have fun; they like parties, gossip, going to the movies, taking trips, and eating out together. Wherever you go in Thailand you will hear the word sanuk being used - the Thai word for fun. Is Bangkok sanuk? Was a certain film sanuk? Was a party you attended sanuk? Even occasions like funerals, which Westerners regard as serious affairs, ought to be fun in Thai eyes. And the same with work. The Thais do not draw a sharp distinction between work and pleasure in the same way as Westerners do.

The Thais are an exceptionally gregarious race when it comes to fun. They like to have a good time together and cannot envisage enjoying life in any solitary way. Their idea of fun tends to be unsophisticated and playful - usually with noisy music and bustling crowds.

Forget about the Protestant work ethic. Most Thais are easy-going people who refuse to work themselves to a standstill. Work is a means to earning a living, not the be-all and end-all of life. Indeed the Thai word ngan, which means "work", also means "party." "

I missed Mother's Day!

I just found out (thanks Kate!) that yesterday was Mother's Day in Thailand. I guess it's apt that I missed it as I am not actually a mother to a Thai child yet but at least I now know the date for next year. (or in two years, more likely!)

The Thai people celebrate Mother's Day on August 12th because it is Her Majesty Queen Sirikit's birthday (or วันเฉลิมพระชนมพรรษา สมเด็จพระนางเจ้าฯ พระบรมราชินีนาถ as written in the Thai language) and she is considered the mother to all the Thai people. You can read more about how the Thais celebrate this holiday here.

free music - cool!

Ever since college I have been a big fan of Derek Webb's music. I consider him a modern day prophet, spouting out the things that nobody wants to hear but lots of people need to hear. Much like Keith Green he is a pioneer in a lot of ways. One of the things that he does (again like Keith) is that he makes his music available for free or whatever people want to pay. He has helped start up a site with some other musicians that are getting behind this same idea. The site is called noisetrade. You can choose to email three friends about the album or pay whatever you want and in exchange you are able to download the album...for free. Isn't that cool?

a greater gift

My Dad sent me the sweetest early birthday present this past week. It's from a site that I hadn't heard of called A Greater Gift. He found it as he was searching the web for a fair trade item from Thailand that he though I might like. And he was right, I do! Not only is this bag really beautiful, but the fact that it is helping someone in Thailand earn a good and fair wage makes the gift even sweeter. Eva thinks so too. She has barely let the bag leave her shoulder since its arrival.

Thai fact

"Thai self-confidence is reflected in their smart appearance. Cleanliness is important, and Thais think nothing of having several showers a day. They make a point of being well-dressed, with clothes that are always spotless and neatly pressed. The Thai word for dirty, sokaprok, expressed disgust.

Urban women, in particular,take pride in their appearance, wearing stylish clothes and making extensive use of cosmetics. They also smile a lot - simply because a smile always looks more attractive then a frown."

red letters campaign

I've recently joined up with the Red Letters campaign. It is a group focused on both awareness and action. Some of the primary focuses are orphan care, poverty, HIV and adoption. I am now an 'adoption journalist' for this project. That sounds pretty fancy but all it really means is that my blog is posted on their page of adoption journals, listed under Thailand {their 1st! - come on Thailand peeps!} and I post their blog badge at the end of my posts. For anyone that is interested in these issues or wants to help bring awareness about these things or even just wants to find more adoptions journeys to follow, this is a great site to check out.

anchored

Most of you have probably heard about the death of Steven Curtis Champan's youngest daughter, Maria. The Chapman family has adopted three little girls from China in addition to the three biological children that they have. They are huge adoption advocates and an inspiration to many. This morning was their first interview since Maria's death. If you missed it you can watch it on Steven's website. They will also be on Larry King Live for the full hour tomorrow night, August 7th 9pm ET/ 6pm PT on CNN. They are such a beautiful family and a great picture of faith when it counts.

song for Lucy

One of the adoption blogs that I follow is called Taiwan Lucy. Lucy's Dad has written a really beautiful song while he waits for his little girl to come to home. Lucy's song is available as a free download on their site. I feel like it so embodies the hearts of all of the adoptive parents out there, waiting, wondering when their little one will be home at last. In my eyes, by far the hardest part of adoption is the knowledge that your child is out there not knowing the love of a family. Godspeed all of our babies home.

bunnies

So, I am officially crazy.

Some friends of ours kept offering us some free bunnies. They have horses/chickens/turkeys/bunnies/dogs/etc. at their place. They kept saying that the kids could come over and pick out some baby bunnies. We kept putting it off. Then randomly some other friends were moving and offered us their bunny cages, even though we have no bunnies. We started thinking maybe God was speaking. Granted, we have misheard Him before, this wouldn't be the first time. Suffice to say, we now are 'trying out' life with two bunnies. They or I may not make it the week and they or I may soon be living on the nice ranch property with said horses, chickens, etc. Feel free to offer any name suggestion as right now I keep going back to the names of Franciscan monks - not sure why.

I'll keep you posted on how this current saga plays out.

play smart

I added a new banner to my sidebar: Free Rice. It's a pretty unique concept. Each time you visit their site you can play a game testing your vocabulary skills. For each word that you get correct, 20 grains of rice are donated through the UN World Food Program to help end hunger.

67,949,960 grains of rice were donated yesterday, just by people playing this game.

Over 40 billion grains have been donated to date.

Hey! Each time you check out 'the Paben 5' you could click on the banner and play.

A game that helps strengthen your brain and fights world hunger? How can you lose?

paperwork

I am trying to get all of our forms filled out and documents assembled so that when we get a copy of our final home study -
our dossier is ready to go!

And don't you know that I look just like this doing it?

Eva's adventure

I bought this book (the First Adventures of Incredible You) for my daughter, Eva, sometime last year and I was really excited about how it turned out. When ordering the book you answer all sorts of questions about where you live, different family members or friends, etc... (for example one questions asks for your, or your child's, favorite sports team...) Then when you receive the book, all these little details are woven into the story. Eva loves it!

I just received an email stating that this book is on sale through August 31st for $26.36. I did notice an online retailer is now selling this same book for $49, so this is a pretty good deal in comparison. This makes a great gift and I think an especially cool adoption item.

You need to enter the code: adventures20 at checkout.

As always, I have no affiliation with any of these products.

Thai fact

"Because Thailand has never been under foreign rule, the Thais hold their heads high and regard people from other nations as their equals. They come across as self-confident, and proud of their country, but never arrogant. They learn from an early age that Thailand is 'Buddha's own country.' They have savored independence for centuries and are very thankful for this."

tip toe

The social worker just left.
Our second home study visit is over.
The kids are both napping at the same time.
The house is clean.

And it's a Monday.

It's as if I am living in some surreal alternate reality.

Perhaps if I tread lightly, this moment in time will last a bit longer...

Bella

I have heard some good things about this film and have been wanting to see it. I know that the girl has an unexpected pregnancy and that adoption is a theme in the film. Have any of you seen it - what were your thoughts on it?

**update**

We watched this Friday night and I really, really liked it. I hate to recommend a film because each time I do, my mother watches it and then threatens to disown me but...what can I do? I liked it.

just as they promised.

Our first home study is officially complete. I just spoke with our second home study social worker and she asked if she could fly out this monday - I am so grateful that things are finally moving along!

This is Sitha Heng...

"...Sitha is 50 years old and lives in a small village on Cambodia's Mekong River about 15 miles north of the capital city of Phnom Penh. A widow, Sitha has four daughters, three of whom are married and one who lives with her at home.
For the past 34 years, Sitha has supported her family by weaving silk into cloth, a skill she learned from her mother. She sells her finished produts to a middle man in her village, who then resells it in Phnom Penh's markets. In addition to weaving, hard-working Sitha also grows rice to sell. To grow her businesses, Sitha is requesting a loan of $1,200 U.S. dollars to purchase more silk and rice."

This morning I went to Kiva' site and made a loan towards Sitha's goal. She still needs $425 to meet that goal. If you would like to get involved in helping Sitha's business prosper you can find her here.

Such a small contribution on our part can literally change the course of a person's life. Why wait?

**update** Sitha's goal has been met a mere 6 hours from when I posted this. Perhaps some of my generous readers made it happen! There's still plenty of others to partner with though...!

waiting...

I stole this picture from my friend Mindy's brand spankin' new blog, Eikyo. Man, that is just how I feel. Our (first) home study social worker said that our (first) home study should be done in a week, two weeks tops. Well, it will be two weeks tomorrow. We can't schedule our (second) home study until our (second) home study social worker has our (first) home study in hand. Confused yet?

So I'm just waitin'. Something tells me this will be the first in a long series of waits. I better learn to enjoy the view.

Thai fact

"The Thais are respectful people. Children are brought up to respect their elders and to defer to authority. If a person has a higher rank then you in society, he or she is worthy of respect, and a good employee acknowledges the superiority of his boss and does not contradict him. Students respect their teachers and would not dare to argue with them or even ask them questions. One of the ways the Thais demonstrate respect is to press their palms gracefully together, fingers pointing upwards if in prayer, and incline their the head forward in salutation. This is known as the wai. It is normal for people to wai when they see a superior, and the recipient of the wai will wai back. The greater the difference in in rank, the lower the head is inclined and the higher the wai should be. The inferior should always initiate the wai."

i really love getting mail...

I have been trying to work out the kinks - and I think I finally have this subscription thing figured out. If you had previously subscribed to the Paben 5, you may want to do it again now. I'm not sure if any old subscriptions will still be working as I have switched to a different service.

If you haven't subscribed before and you enjoy reading the Paben 5 then you can either enter your email in the box in the top right hand corner of this blog and you will then receive an email each time there's a new post.

Or if you prefer reading blogs in a web reader then just subscribe at the bottom of any post and it will let you choose a reader or the email notification option.

Thanks for visiting...and I always love hearing your thoughts...feel free to comment!

love, Em

two thumbs up

A few weeks back as I was headed out for a vacation with my family (ugh, was that only a few weeks ago? Why does it so feel like I still so need a vacation?...but I digress...) I was sorting through my list of "to read" adoption books. None of them appeared even the least bit vacation/pool side friendly. While I feel it is very important to go through this process eyes wide open to all the potential difficulties and issues that may arise - sometimes you need a little break from all the horror stories. There was one book I had been hoping to read, an adoption novel/memoir that looked very unlike the others on my list: The English American by Alison Larkin. It was perfect. Funny, poignant, and filled with rays of adoption insight. If you are feeling a little tired from all the tough reads and need one that feels a bit more like summer vacation, this may be just the book for you.

Feist on Sesame Street!

I really like listening to Feist and this song translates so well for Sesame Street - my kids love it!

Knight's prayer

I want to do more then merely exist, walk through the motions, let each day arrive and depart at it's own leisure. I want to act. I want to be intentional. I want to help alter my little corner of this earth. I want to learn to love. And you know what? I REALLY suck at loving. I am far too selfish and too tired and too easily annoyed to love well. I am scared, along with perhaps, most of the rest of the world, and not very brave at all. And I can easily look at myself and feel discouraged or some days, disgusted. But today I just feel encouraged. I did in fact love a little bit better this week than last. I did care about someone else more then myself. I even felt a little bit brave.

This week was rare.

Today it seems as though so little is asked or even expected of us. We can live our own little life never giving much thought to anything other than: "what should I eat for lunch? what do i want to do tonight? what do I want to spend my paycheck on?" And that can be it for all the days of our lives.

I want so much more than that for my life.

I came across this Knight's prayer and I have to say, I really love it. It seems so archaic. I wanna bring it back. Oh, for this to be a normal mindset in our time.

My Lord-
I am ready on the threshold of this new day to go forth armed with Thy power, seeking adventures on the high road: To right wrong, to overcome evil, to suffer wounds and endure pain if need be, but in all things to serve Thee bravely, faithfully, joyfully - that at the end of the days labor, kneeling for Thy blessing, Thou mayst find no blot upon my shield.

a shoe for a shoe

If you can't tell by now, I really love to get behind projects that help to change the world. Particularly the world of kids that don't have the basic things that kids should have. So...here's another company I love to love.

"The idea of TOMS Shoes came about in 2006 when founder, Blake Mycoskie befriended the children of an Argentine village and found that they had no shoes to protect their feet. Seeing their cuts and sores and wanting to help them, he imagined a company that would match every pair of shoes sold with a pair given to a child in need.

Upon his return, he launched TOMS Shoes: Shoes for Tomorrow.

Within a year, he went back to that same village in Argentina with 10,000 pairs of shoes to match purchases from caring TOMS customers. Since then, TOMS has hand-delivered an additional 50,000 pairs of shoes to children in South Africa.

For every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair to a child in need."


Love it.

Thai fact

"Metropolitan Bangkok is an enormous sprawling city of approximately 10 million people that has expanded rapidly over the past forty years. All other Thai cities are minnows in comparison. It accounts for more than half of the national total of telephones and cars - and this is why the city's traffic jams are so notorious.

Bangkok is the original name for the area, and means 'The Village of Wild Plums.' When it became the capital it was given a new name, Krung Thep. This is a shortened version of the official title for the city which is:

The City Of Celestial Beings, the Great City, the Residence of the Emerald Buddha, the Impregnable City of Indra, The Grand Capital of the World Endowed with Nine Precious Gems, the Happy City Abounding in Enormous Royal Palaces that Resemble the Heavenly Abode where the Reincarnated Gods Reside, a City Given by Indra and Built by Vishnukarm."

Wowza.

party police

On my son's birthday invite a few months back I requested "no gifts please". A couple days ago I came across an article in Cookie Magazine called The Party Police. The tag line was ..."No gifts. No Siblings. No Sugar. The ever growing demands on birthday guests translate to...no fun." It's a pretty funny article but this one part in particular I found pretty hilarious:

"Nor is there real concern (I'll go out on a limb here) for what the child wants - what kid doesn't want presents? "We already have so much crap," the mother will moan, playing the Buddhist who eschews all earthly matter. When the fact is, she has no problem spending $45 on belly butter and, $50 on a reclaimed teak rattle or dharma-knows-what on eco-camp in Costa Rica. But wave a Little People bus by her and she faints from overconsumption."

I love when biting criticism hits a little too close to home...though for the record I have never spent more then eight bucks on belly butter. Still with another child's birthday just a month away I'm gonna have to stick to my guns on this one: no gifts please.

one down

Well...our very nice home-study-social-worker just departed.

Sigh. It feels nice to have cleared another hurdle on what feels like some kind of crazy internal obstacle course.

She spent several hours with us interviewing Sean and I both together and separately. It was actually quite enjoyable. As she left she told us that we were her favorite family that she has met with. I'm not sure if that's true, but gee whiz, it sure was a nice thing to say.

my morning mantra

more random advertising

I recently discovered a couple more not-for-profits that I am really digging:  Nest & Kiva.  They achieve their goal from different avenues but both center on providing small business loans to people in developing countries.  Such fantastic concepts.  

Here's a blurb from Nest's site:

Everyone needs beauty as well as bread. -John Muir

"Nest is a non-profit organization dedicated to changing the lives of woman in developing countries.  The mission of Nest is to support women artists and artisans in the developing world by helping them create sustainable, entrepreneurial businesses.  To do this, Nest provides micro-credit loans...the funds for these loans are generated by selling a unique line of merchandise produced exclusively for Nest by a group of artists & designers.  In addition to these exclusive items created by well-known designers, the recipients of Nest loans in developing countries also make their crafts available to Nest as repayment for their micro-credit loans.  When you buy from Nest, you have not only purchased a unique and beautiful item, you have participated in a proven effort to better the lives of woman all across the globe."

And from Kiva's site: 

"The people that you see on Kiva's site are real individuals in need of funding - not marketing material.  When you browse entrepreneurs' profiles on the site, choose someone to lend to, and then make a loan, you are making a real person make great strides towards economic independence and improve life for themselves, their family and their community.  Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive email journal updates and track repayments.  Then, when you get your loan money back, you can lend to someone else in need."

weeds

We have just returned from a week long vacation with my family in Mexico.  Our home study is this Thursday and there is suddenly so much to do before then.  Not the least of which is pulling the jungle of weeds that have grown in our backyard while we were gone.  How is it that out here in the desert - everything I have lovingly planted and cared for hasn't lasted the week but these weeds have grown three feet in seven days?  It's tough on morale.  

Thai fact

"Thailand is roughly the size of France and shaped like a tall tree leaning to the right.  Thai school children are taught to describe the shape of their country as an elephant's head with a long dangling trunk."

fashion cents

I love this project.  It's from Feed the Children and it's a pretty basic concept.  You buy one of these supercool reversible totes for around $60 and the money is used to feed a hungry child for a year. Now that's smart fashion.  

To read more about the project (of which I have no affiliation, just admiration, click here.

Thai fact

We have recently started reading the book "Culture Smart! Thailand" and it is full  of all sorts of interesting facts on Thailand and Thai culture.  I thought it would be fun to share some of them on this blog. 

here goes... 

The Kingdom of Thailand was known as Siam until 1939, when it was changed to Muang Thai or Prathet Thai, which both mean "Land of the Free".

whiplash

here's how it went down:

-we decided on Thailand.

-we decided on Holt.

-we signed on with Holt.

-Holt closes their Thai program.  Estimated re-opening of December 2008.

-We sign on with WACAP.

-We begin the home study process with one of WACAP's Texas home study agencies.  

-We are fully pleased with WACAP as an agency, but I remain unsettled because I prefer that Holt primarily cares for their children through foster care while WACAP cares for their children in orphanages.  (Different things are priorities to different people and this apparently is a priority of mine as I could not get past it.

- A couple of weeks ago I call Holt to check the status of their Thai program.  It has still not reopened but a spot has just become open as a family switched from the thailand to the Ethiopia Program.

-We are offered their spot.

-Much home study agency drama ensues as we are not working presently with an agency that Holt works with. 

-I think (and hope and pray) that all is going to work out as we head back to Holt.  Though the home study process will be a bit more complicated, I think that it will be worth it for our family.

Ultimately we are really excited as we continue to try to navigate God's weird and wacky ways.  

we have a home study date

Our home study agency just sent us the itinerary and our social worker will be arriving at 7:45 on July 10th.  Yikes! This feels exciting and scary and very official.  It's nice to be moving forward.  

  photo of Pataya, Thailand