On November 29th I put $29 in an envelope earmarked for adoption. It sounds silly, insignificant. But when I did it, it almost took my breath away, the enormity of the moment. We were stepping onto the path, choosing the journey.
We had been talking primarily about Ethiopia and there are a lot of things I really like about the Ethiopia program but then out of nowhere Sean started talking about Thailand. We weren't even sure if Thailand was open for adoptions since you hear so little about it but he kept talking about it...so I started to look into Thailand. And something about it just feels right. There were a lot of things that just clicked. We are going to continue to pray about it but seem to be heading in that direction. I guess it still may not be time for me to get my black babies. We never even discussed brown babies!
Today I called Holt, the agency we would like to use. I had a few basic questions though really I think I just wanted to talk to someone official. Do something official.
And...we can't make it
official until Oliver turns two. Thailand has a rule that if you already have children, the youngest must be at least two at the time of application. So we have some time, which is good because we need to save up money anyway and Sean is wanting to take this slow. (Part of what was confirming for us about Thailand is that the process takes a loooong time. Ethiopia's program is pretty quick.) So we are in the 1st of many 'waits' that lie ahead.
We have talked about it for years. Years. In fact it was one of the initial debates before we married. Black babies or white babies? As politically incorrect as that sounds - that was the official name of the debate, and has been referred to as such many times since then. Though doctors had told me for years that I wouldn't be able to bear children, I wasn't that fazed. I have always wanted to adopt. My would -be husband, understood the diagnosis but still wanted to try for our own. We felt content with the compromise. We would have any and all color children that we could. Whatever God was willing to send our way. Well, I ended up being ridiculously fertile, and two shocking pregnancies later we are just now getting to the non-white baby part of the deal. I love my white babies, but I cannot lie, there is something in my heart that will never be at peace until we get to experience the heart of God through adoption.
