Monday, July 26, 2010

happy birthday, baby

Today is my son's birthday. He is one and we have yet to meet.

I have spent the past few weeks trying to figure out how to commemorate this day. How to celebrate someone while mourning their absence. My father suggested having a small party as a family with a place set for Oaks. We could take pictures to show him that we are here, anticipating his arrival. I love this idea.

Another friend suggested that our family plant an oak tree. A symbolic gesture to mark the day. I really love this idea as well.

And yet somehow, without intention, I find myself alone today. My kids left just yesterday for the mountains with their grandma. My usually boisterous home is silent. And somehow this feels right. A day of quiet vigil, watching and waiting for the celebration to come.

There's a decent chance that not only will there be no festivities for my little one today, but that his day will pass by much like any other.

This is the last time. Never, ever again will this day go by without great fanfare. I promise.

But for today, it will consist of only a couple of letters. Love letters from strangers. Detailed accounts from your mom and dad of how you were loved before you were known. How you were deeply wanted and fervently prayed for before you first gulped in the air of this world.

Happy birthday, little love. Your party will wait on you.

{image via mat.}


Robin said...

Hugs to you today, Emily. Our future little boy's first birthday also passed quietly without the celebration I had planned. Don't you just wish you could be a fly on the wall where he is today especially?

Jessica said...

Happy Birthday, Oak! Soon, Emily, soon, you'll be celebrating in the biggest way possible.

Brazenlilly said...

Emily, we are thinking of your family--all five of you--this week and very much looking forward to reading the post from Thailand when you are holding your son in your arms! Sending prayers of safety.

Chris and Terri said...

WOW! So close to travel!!! Very excited for you guys!

Happy Birthday Oak!!! Looking forward to seeing that post birthday celebration!

I would love to keep following your journey if you take your blog private. I'm very excited to see the people travel who we "waited in line with" for so long.

Best wishes for safe travel!

Mireille said...

Oh Emily, I LOVE this post dedicated to your beloved son who you are anxiously waiting for! Congratulations and just know that there will be many more to celebrate GRAND!