Monday, October 6, 2008

baby haze

This morning has felt a little surreal. I'm not sure if there is such a thing as adoption hormones, but if there are - mine have hit without abandon.

First, in the car on the way to drop Eva off at school we did our daily ritual of songs & prayers. Today we prayed for two of my friends that are trying to get pregnant through different fertility methods. I suddenly got all weepy and awed by the fact that God invites us to share in bringing forth life with Him. The emotions that swept over me felt reminiscent of the ones that arrived just after my babies were born. Beause God lets us share in all this, is why I was crying.

After leaving the school we went by Sean's work to pick up the last notarized document that we needed to send our dossier off on it's nationwide tour.


As I was driving to Mailboxes, Etc. to send it on it's way, I kept hitting red lights. Each time that I would come screeching to a halt, my arm would inadvertently cross over to the passenger side to cover the envelope holding all of our precious documents. I'm sure that my intention was to keep the papers from spilling out on the floor of the car, but I couldn't help but smile each time anyway. For the first time it felt as if there was something there of my coming child. Something that I could touch, protect from harm. In essence, something that I could mother.

I know that probably sounds strange, but that was why I couldn't stop smiling.

1 comment:

Melissa May said...

Oh I know what you mean!!!!! When we were getting ready to travel, my husband said over and over that I was "so pregnant!" I'm sure much of it was just the stress and emotions creating very similar scatterbrainedness, but it felt so much the same. THANKFULLY the post-partum rollercoaster has been much kinder this time... : ) So exciting your dossier is almost done!!! That is a HUGE accomplishment!